Hello Phil,
As I curl up on the couch on this cold, wet Monday afternoon, I glance around at our carefully placed Christmas ornaments, listen to classic Christmas carols and make sure everything is just right. My dear friend who is battling lung cancer is due for a visit in 2 days and this could quite possibly be her last Christmas. She is making the trek on 2 ferries from a small Gulf Island on the west coast of B.C. to see yet another doctor who specializes in cancer patients and is also a naturopath. While she continues with conventional medical treatments she wishes to explore additional avenues as she is growing weaker and sicker from each chemo treatment. This naturopath offers something that will hopefully help get her through the rough patches which she now suffers more days than not.
I visit my dear friend once a month for about a week since her partner told me they were informed that her cancer is incurable. As there are only about 4 or 5 days after her monthly “maintenance” chemo treatments where she’s feeling up for company, my visits are planned to land during those precious few days. And boy, do we make the best of those days.
I returned from a week’s visit last Monday where the highlight was gathering yard trimmings from a section of their 5 acre property and building an enormous bonfire in the 10-foot fire pit. We set that bugger ablaze and basked in the heat from the 6-foot flames. Simple, right? There’s something deliciously satisfying about tending a great, big fire.
She’d been a saving a special beer since her diagnosis in April and Fire Pit Day was apparently the special day she’d been waiting for. We toasted our day’s work, our friendship and simple pleasures. With that, she cracked open her first beer almost 9 months. It was wonderfully happy and sad all at once.
On the ferry home, I reflected on our time together, my friend’s incredible emotional and physical strength (all 5’2” of her tiny frame) and our 35+ years of friendship. I realized it‘s not always about the victories nor defeats but rather the “in betweens”. It’s what happens in those grey areas, the ones where winning or losing appears to be the only options, which truly define us. It’s my friend being dealt a shitty hand and not focusing on the winning or losing her battle but how she will react to every piece of news, good or bad. And choosing how she’ll live in the “in between”.
While I most often react with anger to the latest negative story or “study” regarding vaping (honestly, like you, I have no patience for idiocy when it comes to uneducated people making choices for us vapers), I’m trying my hardest to take a deep breath (because I can!) and not think of these things as winning or losing. Oh, I might spew several obscenities first, but after calming down I will refuse to give up. I will continue to educate and inform whenever I am the subject of ridicule or when local politicians or media insist on misinformation. If I can help just one person switch from smoking to vaping, I will continue do so.
I don’t want to see another friend or loved one suffer from continuing to smoke. I couldn’t help my dear friend switch and I won’t be silenced trying to help others.
I wish you and your family a heartfelt very Merry Christmas, Phil. Thank you for your time.
Please join me in raising a virtual glass of your favorite spirit to my friend.
Cheers!
Janine
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